testimony.....well what is a testimony? rly? a life story? no. it's a person's
personal story of what God has done for them. Rev. 12:11 is a good place to start
when talking about a testimony. the devil doesn't want me to share with anyone what
God has done for me. he wants me always sad, always lonely, feeling unloved, and
unwanted. I have beat myself up for years b/c nothing has went the way that I had
planned. the past 14 years haven't been easy for me. I grew up in a loving home,
good parents, we always had what we needed, it may not have been the name brand
of everything, but they did the best they could. I wasn't one of the prettiest
girls in class, not popular at all, and usually the butt of every joke told in
most cases. I was made fun of, and all I wanted was to be accepted. at 13 I was
molested by someone I thought was a friend. I wouldn't talk about it, just wanted
to pretend it didn't happen so at 15, I started drinking, and smoking cigarettes
b/c I saw everyone else doing it, and I wanted to be part of the 'in'
crowd...then at 16 I was betrayed by someone I thought of as a best friend...Dec
21 1998 I was raped, and so started my down ward spiral...from 16 to the age of
19 I looked for love and acceptance from the wrong people. drinking, taking pills,
lying to my family. doing anything that i could to be accepted and get someone
to care. Oct 31 2001 i almost lost my life 28 days after my 19th birthday from
drinking and driving. but coming home from the hospital, it was clear that
God wasn't done with me, and that He hadn't forgot about me. the following year, I
lost my grandmother to cancer, and it ripped a hole in my whole world. she was
the most amazing woman of God I had ever known, and I was so mad and hurt b/c she
was gone, I blamed God for awhile, until I didn't and couldn't believe that he
took her from us, so much that he took her home. in 2003 I was blessed with Mia,
a brown eyed angel, and I did good for awhile, tried to be a good momma, but I
still felt like something was missing, that same year I met a young man and we
got married. it was alright at first...but soon I was back to drinking again, and
started smoking weed with him, and taking pills off and on again...pretty soon
my daughter was growing and I was missing it. in 2004 I was blessed again with
another daughter, Skyler, hazel eyed and so tiny...things were so up and down by
the time she arrived that I had just accepted the way life was, and stopped
trying to change it. I was still going to church, but it was mostly b/c I wanted
to escape from the hell I was living in, and it was only 3 times a week that I
could get any peace, I wouldn't admit that I was wrong to anyone for staying in
the marriage, I just kept praying that it would work out. I was married for 3 and
half years, and the abuse finally got the better of me...I was cried out and I
prayed for a way out....it wasn't the way I had thought it would be, but it was
my way out. I remarried in 2007, and it was bad from the start....lies,
stealing, cheating, and drugs...I had never done meth before in my life, and at
24 years old, it didn't take long for me to rly hooked....he was doing it, and I
thought that if I did it too, then we would have a better relationship....I was
so wrong....1 month of marriage was all he could take....we split and divorce 3
months later...but I couldn't get clean off the meth...every 'friend' I made
while I had been with him, I kept. I would do almost anything to get high,
buying pills, other stuff to make it, helping make it. I didn't see it then, but
looking back. I see all the danger I put my kids in b/c of it....those years are
all blurry now, and only a few memories. I was smoking weed, taking pills,
and drinking, but meth was my best friend....but as it goes the clock was
counting down till I would get busted, there are only so many close calls before
you find yourself behind bars. I prayed for a way out, and it seemed like it was
a near miss every time....but I remember living in Vernon in 2009, and being so
tired of the life, and praying for an easier way out than getting busted...my
oldest daughter walked into my room and caught me smoking meth...I lost the
taste for it, and craving that day, it broke her heart, but it saved my little
family. I've been meth free for 2 yrs. I still had battles with alcohol and
weed, but after Jan of 2011 and an 8 hour stay in jail, that hasn't been a
problem...in the past 14 years none of my prayers were answered the way I thought
they should have been, but looking back they were answered exactly the way they
were supposed to be....I have another daughter now, Faith, and she is a blessing
also, b/c I have been given another chance to be a good mommy to not 2 but all 3
of my girls...I still struggle with love and feeling like I'm missing something,
but I pray and I know he's not done with me, yet, not by a long shot.....I
rededicated my life in Oct of 2013, and in Sept of this year I will be fully
clean off of anything that isn't given to me by my dr. I know that I have a
church family that prayed for me even when I probably didn't want them too, and I
am so blessed for them, and my family, they've stood by me through all of this,
and today after all the hurt and lies, I thank God for them.
I can honestly say that if God can save me, He can save anyone.....
personal story of what God has done for them. Rev. 12:11 is a good place to start
when talking about a testimony. the devil doesn't want me to share with anyone what
God has done for me. he wants me always sad, always lonely, feeling unloved, and
unwanted. I have beat myself up for years b/c nothing has went the way that I had
planned. the past 14 years haven't been easy for me. I grew up in a loving home,
good parents, we always had what we needed, it may not have been the name brand
of everything, but they did the best they could. I wasn't one of the prettiest
girls in class, not popular at all, and usually the butt of every joke told in
most cases. I was made fun of, and all I wanted was to be accepted. at 13 I was
molested by someone I thought was a friend. I wouldn't talk about it, just wanted
to pretend it didn't happen so at 15, I started drinking, and smoking cigarettes
b/c I saw everyone else doing it, and I wanted to be part of the 'in'
crowd...then at 16 I was betrayed by someone I thought of as a best friend...Dec
21 1998 I was raped, and so started my down ward spiral...from 16 to the age of
19 I looked for love and acceptance from the wrong people. drinking, taking pills,
lying to my family. doing anything that i could to be accepted and get someone
to care. Oct 31 2001 i almost lost my life 28 days after my 19th birthday from
drinking and driving. but coming home from the hospital, it was clear that
God wasn't done with me, and that He hadn't forgot about me. the following year, I
lost my grandmother to cancer, and it ripped a hole in my whole world. she was
the most amazing woman of God I had ever known, and I was so mad and hurt b/c she
was gone, I blamed God for awhile, until I didn't and couldn't believe that he
took her from us, so much that he took her home. in 2003 I was blessed with Mia,
a brown eyed angel, and I did good for awhile, tried to be a good momma, but I
still felt like something was missing, that same year I met a young man and we
got married. it was alright at first...but soon I was back to drinking again, and
started smoking weed with him, and taking pills off and on again...pretty soon
my daughter was growing and I was missing it. in 2004 I was blessed again with
another daughter, Skyler, hazel eyed and so tiny...things were so up and down by
the time she arrived that I had just accepted the way life was, and stopped
trying to change it. I was still going to church, but it was mostly b/c I wanted
to escape from the hell I was living in, and it was only 3 times a week that I
could get any peace, I wouldn't admit that I was wrong to anyone for staying in
the marriage, I just kept praying that it would work out. I was married for 3 and
half years, and the abuse finally got the better of me...I was cried out and I
prayed for a way out....it wasn't the way I had thought it would be, but it was
my way out. I remarried in 2007, and it was bad from the start....lies,
stealing, cheating, and drugs...I had never done meth before in my life, and at
24 years old, it didn't take long for me to rly hooked....he was doing it, and I
thought that if I did it too, then we would have a better relationship....I was
so wrong....1 month of marriage was all he could take....we split and divorce 3
months later...but I couldn't get clean off the meth...every 'friend' I made
while I had been with him, I kept. I would do almost anything to get high,
buying pills, other stuff to make it, helping make it. I didn't see it then, but
looking back. I see all the danger I put my kids in b/c of it....those years are
all blurry now, and only a few memories. I was smoking weed, taking pills,
and drinking, but meth was my best friend....but as it goes the clock was
counting down till I would get busted, there are only so many close calls before
you find yourself behind bars. I prayed for a way out, and it seemed like it was
a near miss every time....but I remember living in Vernon in 2009, and being so
tired of the life, and praying for an easier way out than getting busted...my
oldest daughter walked into my room and caught me smoking meth...I lost the
taste for it, and craving that day, it broke her heart, but it saved my little
family. I've been meth free for 2 yrs. I still had battles with alcohol and
weed, but after Jan of 2011 and an 8 hour stay in jail, that hasn't been a
problem...in the past 14 years none of my prayers were answered the way I thought
they should have been, but looking back they were answered exactly the way they
were supposed to be....I have another daughter now, Faith, and she is a blessing
also, b/c I have been given another chance to be a good mommy to not 2 but all 3
of my girls...I still struggle with love and feeling like I'm missing something,
but I pray and I know he's not done with me, yet, not by a long shot.....I
rededicated my life in Oct of 2013, and in Sept of this year I will be fully
clean off of anything that isn't given to me by my dr. I know that I have a
church family that prayed for me even when I probably didn't want them too, and I
am so blessed for them, and my family, they've stood by me through all of this,
and today after all the hurt and lies, I thank God for them.
I can honestly say that if God can save me, He can save anyone.....